It may be bitter and as cold as ice...
When criticism poured over you is huge enough,
Calmly know the reasons and stay wise...
The hearts that care will criticise only to make you rise...
But the vindictive minds will get you into their web of
words,
to showcase their envy, when you fly high...
to showcase their envy, when you fly high...
Some weird mouths will question your authenticity,
wishing you become their mirror image...
wishing you become their mirror image...
Some dominating rulers will flak you,
just to show their authoritative ways...
just to show their authoritative ways...
Some will prove their mindlessness and disapprove you
by just being under the world’s influence...
by just being under the world’s influence...
Some strange creatures will throw objection
because they are wearing a habitual lens...
because they are wearing a habitual lens...
It should not matter to you what the world say,
Do not swallow their excessive nays...
Follow your heart; keep doing what you truly believe...
Forgive, accept, love yourself; and know...
“No dream is impossible to achieve!”
“No dream is impossible to achieve!”
~Jyotika Rajput Mehra Poetry
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| The One Who's Mightier is You Picture Location: Stockholm |
There’s nothing to muse about criticism! Its existence is as primordial
as the human itself. There’s hardly anybody who doesn’t nag about the way
things are or the behaviour of others. Psychologists say that in general, people
have adopted a new grown craze for playing the role of critics all the time! From
small nagging bites to the much harsher versions, we have all felt the tremors
of this phobia. But, does anybody contemplate what happens to the one
who is at the receiving end of the unsolicited sweet-sour-ugly words or
gestures?
Where an optimal amount of progressive criticism shows
positive result in the emotional quotient of the recipient; frequent, deliberate
and excessive criticism proves to be hazardous for obvious reasons, especially
when it is done publicly or over social media.
With this blog post, my point of concern is to highlight the following:
- Major critic sources
- Probable reasons for criticism
- Emotions of criticism recipients
- Wonder traits to deal with the uneasy phase of criticism
Critic Source #1: People who truly care for you
Reason: There’s no probability for any reason here. The
reality is that these kind souls want to be your saviours. Their intent is to support
you in achieving your best.
Recipient’s Emotions: I know they care for me and wish for my
success, but now it’s getting difficult for me to handle. Why have they stopped
appreciating the little things that I am able to do? I am already upset and
they are increasing my complexity by constantly criticising me.
Wonder Trait: Be Considerate
Mind it; this is the best form of criticism coming from the
genuine people who are your support network. Keep going with the never say die
attitude and do not over-think. Remember that your loved ones are as concerned
as you are. Do not get hurt by their words/gestures because their intentions
are absolutely true.
Critic Source #2: People who are your competitors and those who
consider you as a threat
Probable Reason: You have out-performed them and shaken their
confidence OR they fear that you may out-perform them
Recipient’s Emotions: What else one can expect from such low-spirited
and weak personalities. It’s upsetting! I hope their drama does not hamper my
goodwill!
Wonder Trait: Be the Campaigner
Keep shining like a star. Remain unaffected by your competitors’
comments and retain your confidence. Your true believers/clients will always
recognize your talents. Appreciate your expertise and continue your journey.
Critic Source #3: People who are boastful and always wish to
rule. These can be your domineering boss or even intolerant in-laws (in some
cultures)
Probable Reason: They want to dominate over you and prove their
authority/seniority
Recipient’s Emotions: It’s really disappointing that they always
cut off my ideologies. Each of my action makes me a target for comment! They
are senior to me but that doesn’t give them authority to be stubborn, rude and
insensitive towards me. I respect them but their behaviour is making them lose
it all.
Wonder Trait: Be Assertive
Being assertive doesn’t mean being disrespectful. If your ideas
are constantly getting criticised, then it’s high time to pick up the weapon of
courage and show your assertive skills to counter question their strategy.
The major point is to let them amicably know how you feel. At
times their actions make no sense but to maintain a cordial relationship it is
best to stay positive. Stand firm on your opinions and wait for the right opportunity
to convince them.
Critic Source #4: People who not know the real you. These can
be gossip-mongers over social media or the far-away acquaintances
Probable Reason: Fake rumours from here and there; baseless assumptions
and your social media posts have triggered the critic bug in the brain cells of
these people
Recipient’s Emotions: They do not even know the real me and they’re
still criticising me! Their act is spreading negative vibrations all around! No
matter they are my acquaintances/relatives, I do not wish to stay connected
with them anymore!
Wonder Trait: Be Ignorant
Let the small minds do small talks, they can never ruin your
rapport. It is imperative to take care of one thing – “Do not stoop down to
their level. Just maintain your dignity.” Ignore such people in all possible
ways and attain your peace of mind.
Critic
Source #5: Someone very close to you, may be parents, sibling, spouse or your best
friend
Probable Reason: They wish to make you their replica or
mirror image. They expect you to become exactly the same as they are, in
nature, preferences, opinions, etc.
Recipient’s Emotions: We are like-minded still different
human beings. I have my own unique style different from them and I don’t wish
to copy them. Why should I become their mirror image? I love them but they’re
annoying me each time with their silly criticism!
Wonder Trait: Be a Realist
No matter what, do not leave your authenticity just to make
anybody happy. It’s not about raising your ego but retaining your
individuality. Stepping out of your originality means getting into a vulnerable
dangerous zone or probably an uncomfortable area where you won’t be yourself
any longer. Keep your calm, take your stand and tell them the reality.
Critic Source #6: People who are elderly and/or challenged by psychological
issues
Probable Reason: Such people naturally gain the habit of criticising
just anything and everything in life
Recipient’s Emotions: I wish these people could see the
goodness around everything and especially in me! Since they are compelled by
their weird nature, they’ve infused into their blood the habit of nagging and
criticising me all the time.
Wonder Trait: Be Compassionate
Understand
that it’s not about you, these people are either majorly old enough to
understand the young you or under a mental dilemma to figure out the benefit
from your actions. So, nobody is at fault. Don’t be upset by their criticism
and focus on your important tasks.
Critic
Source #7: You
Probable Reason: Your perseverance has reached the saturation
point because you’ve been way too hard on yourself
Your Heart’s Emotions: I am absolutely of no worth now... There’s
not even a single thing that I am good at... I think I have screwed up my work,
my relationships, my health... I am losing it all... Is there’s a saviour who’s listening to me?
Wonder Trait: Be Your Lover
Buddha says, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire
universe deserve your love and affection.” Indeed, that’s true.
So, after when you’ve had it all, from the world as well as
from yourself, you’re bound to experience the worst feeling in the world, i.e.
self-guilt and self-criticism.
I know how it feels when someone tells you, its okay if you
have messed it up, there’s always another opportunity.” Yes, that moment might
be annoying for you, but the reality is that YOU ARE STILL NOT A FAILURE! Who
doesn’t get stuck at the downside of the wave called “life”? It’s just that it’s
your turn right now!
Yes, agreed that nobody else apart from you can actually know
your plight. But those who love you 100% will surely feel your pain and be your
saviours in the best possible manner.
So it’s time to lighten the burden of your heart and make
your spirit smile once again.
Remember the lessons learned from your mistakes;
forgive yourself, accept yourself and love yourself 100%. Look into the mirror,
give yourself that rockin’ smile, speak to yourself, “I love you because I believe
in you...” and voila you are ready for your journey! All you need is the much
desired love first from yourself!
The Crux...
Criticism is a form of feedback that should definitely be welcomed but no feedback should possess more power than you. No criticism should shake your confidence. Accept any kind of criticism only and only as an improvisation tool.
Criticism is a form of feedback that should definitely be welcomed but no feedback should possess more power than you. No criticism should shake your confidence. Accept any kind of criticism only and only as an improvisation tool.
Escape the double damage instances by not letting the critics
or criticism get onto your nerves. Well-being of your health and psyche is far
more significant than any criticism. Know what’s most valuable in this world... it’s “YOU”.
* Author of this post reserves rights for the content source being an original concept. Be mindful to give credit if you refer this blog post or photograph or quote anywhere. Please do not copy without permission. ©Jyotika Rajput Mehra
* This post is based on the author's feelings, perception and experience, the purpose of which is to motivate and encourage the readers to self introspect their own personality traits as well as the behaviour of others with respect to the different types of criticism. This is a gentle reminder for all those who are facing any type of criticism; to stay strong and love yourself with complete faith.
* The author holds the ownership of the mentioned piece of art. Please do not:
*reproduce the photographs;
*prepare derivative works based upon the photographs;
*distribute copies of the photographs to the public by sale or other transfer of ownership, or by rental, lease, or lending; without explicit consent of the author.
I would like to know your feedback on this prevalent element of criticism.
Please leave your comments below.
Disclaimer:
* Author of this post reserves rights for the content source being an original concept. Be mindful to give credit if you refer this blog post or photograph or quote anywhere. Please do not copy without permission. ©Jyotika Rajput Mehra
* This post is based on the author's feelings, perception and experience, the purpose of which is to motivate and encourage the readers to self introspect their own personality traits as well as the behaviour of others with respect to the different types of criticism. This is a gentle reminder for all those who are facing any type of criticism; to stay strong and love yourself with complete faith.
* The author holds the ownership of the mentioned piece of art. Please do not:
*reproduce the photographs;
*prepare derivative works based upon the photographs;
*distribute copies of the photographs to the public by sale or other transfer of ownership, or by rental, lease, or lending; without explicit consent of the author.
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